Journal
Your breath…
Do you realise the power it can wield?
It is our life force and constant companion; from our very first moments, to our very last.
At once unassuming and extraordinary; bringing life to our bodies and vitality to our spirit.
It calms our nerves and smooths over our frayed edges.
It ignites our passions and fuels our creativity.
It steadies us when we falter, and brings clarity and peace.
It pushes us to keep going when nothing else can.
It will shift what no longer serves us, and replaces it with hope.
It brings us to here and now, and allows us to see the truth.
And it will, if we allow it, shine a light on our shadow;
Uncover the depths of our despair, reveal the rage buried within, and expose the fears we evade.
Then, without judgement, guide us through the other side; exhausted, elated, grateful, a new.
It gives us permission to let go.
And we can access this power at any time. It belongs to us. It is ours. And when we take a breath, we say yes to life.
Embracing excitement
One of my favourite feelings is excitement. It is an exquisite mix of happiness, joy, and anticipation. It is innocent and thrilling and childlike. I have a memory from when I was probably about 8 or 9. I was all ready to go to a birthday party; I was sitting in the car in my favourite dress, and my excitement level was palpable. I felt like my insides were going to explode out of me, and I could barely contain it. The anticipation felt immense…my stomach was in a knot of frantic little butterflies, all wanting to get to that party.
Fostering connection
A sense of connection looks different for all of us, and will change depending on who we are with, how we feel, and what we are doing. But one thing that I think rings true for all of us, is how it makes us feel. When you feel connected to someone, or something, you feel safe, you feel content, you feel accepted, and you feel understood. And even when it is fleeting, it feels awesome!
One day…
One day you will sit in that chair by the window. The afternoon sun will shine through the blinds and warm your face. You will sink in to the soft chair that you picked out especially for this spot. It will hug your body as you sip on a cup of tea and pick at pieces of dark mint chocolate. You will start and finish many books in this spot. You will drink many cups of tea in this spot. You will eat many pieces of chocolate in this spot. But not today.
Discovering our differences
In 2015 our eldest son was officially diagnosed as Autistic. This diagnosis confirmed what we already knew, and was a wonderful thing for our family. It has opened up our lives to some truly amazing people, thoughts and ideas. We started the diagnosis process in mid 2014. We got a referral from our GP to a Paediatrician, who then referred us on to a Speech Pathologist and Psychologist, and we received the diagnosis in April 2015.
A healing birth
The best part of 2015 for us was the birth of our daughter. Our third child, and first daughter was born on the 10th September 2015. She was born in water, at home, and it was pretty darn special. As always, when a new person comes in to a family there is a period of adjustment for everyone. It can be particularly difficult for older siblings as they adapt to sharing another person with Mum and Dad, and navigating the new dynamics.
Officially unschooling
Our eldest child turned 5 in 2015, and that meant that he was at compulsory school age. We had decided that homeschooling was definitely the way to go for us in 2014. We didn’t send our son to Kindergarten as I was concerned about the formal push down of education at such a young age. Then I read more and more about homeschooling, unschooling, and natural learning, and the more I read, the more I knew this was the right thing for our family.
Take a breath and let go
It is the end of the day and I watch you all sleep. I savour your beauty, your stillness, and the wonderous people that you are. I think about the little things you do that make me smile, and I tell myself to remember them….but so often I forget. Tonight I try to remember…
Unveiling me
So many thoughts in my head…always. They are my constant companions.
Swirling, whirling, coming, going, returning, remaining, disappearing. Some linger; they comfort me. They leave me smiling at things no one else can see. Others torture me as they swirl around for days, like a whirlpool, dragging me under. They drain me, they exhaust me. I silently scream ‘leave me alone!’ And eventually they do, when I am finally able to let go.
Perfectly unkempt
We have a truly blessed life, my little family and I. We live, most of of the time, on a 7,000 acre grain and sheep farm in the Wheatbelt, Western Australia. My husband is a dedicated third generation farmer. Our children have space that many people could only dream of! We also have a little house in Perth about 2 hours away, that is close to the river and beautiful beaches. It is our base when we visit friends and family, and want our ocean and city fix.
My son notices the details
He notices the leaves that are shaped like love hearts. He notices the one tiny flower amongst many that looks like a Tyrannosaurus Rex. He notices the seeds on strawberries are black or yellow…and the black ones taste better. He notices the patterns in the bricks as the world rushes past. He notices the shapes made by the shadow of a flickering candle.
He notices the sound of the grain train far off in the distance.
Dinosaurs are Autistic too
Just the other day, our 5 year old told me he loves being Autistic. As he said this I could feel the pride beaming out of his gorgeous, smiling face, and bursting through the tips of his outstretched fingers. Since his diagnosis 8 months ago, we have always been open with him about the fact that he is Autistic.